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Tuesday, December 25, 2018

Arrogance: Tips for dealing with arrogant persons

Arrogance: Tips for dealing with arrogant persons
4/ 5 stars - "Arrogance: Tips for dealing with arrogant persons" The line between healthy self-confidence and arrogance is narrow. To know that you are good, that your own idea is right and better than the...
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The line between healthy self-confidence and arrogance is narrow. To know that you are good, that your own idea is right and better than the ideas of others, is the one thing. To let others feel that, something else. If arrogance then becomes even more powerful (for example with executives), it quickly becomes unbearable. Such people do not mince words, rumble, offend and hurt, and cleanse every thought of the record that is not theirs. Can not be good, was not mine! The complacent rests in itself like in a Faraday cage. No question, it is not healthy. Especially for the environment. But how do you deal with arrogant people? We have some ideas ..




Arrogance: what is meant by that?
Arrogance: what is meant by that?The arrogance can have many faces and names. Overbearing people are often credited with having them

conceited
snooty
haughty
blase
complacent
overbearing

or

arrogant

are.

Although a medical definition is lacking, because the arrogance - unlike the narcissism - does not belong to the classical personality disorders (mental illnesses), arrogant people often show similar characteristics :

They believe they have a monopoly on the truth.
They know everything better.
They consider themselves the crown of creation.
They are convinced that no one does better work than themselves.
They constantly overestimate themselves and their abilities.
They appear pejorative and disparaging to their fellow human beings.
They are immune to advice and criticism.
They are overly self-confident.
They demonstrate their superiority at every opportunity.

You could also say that arrogant people have the ability to miniaturize - in their vicinity you feel smaller than you are.

However, this arrogance is an extremely shaky construct . He always remains dependent on others and needs their mirrors to be able to stand out and lift. In other words, the arrogant is in fact dependent on those who are in his eyes smaller or worse to feel superior.

Where does the arrogance come from?
What causes arrogance, why some of their talents literally go to their heads - that's not always very clear.

Because - and this is a crucial difference to the fool - the arrogant can really do something and often has an above-average intelligence . In other words, he or she has a good reason to be overbearing.

Why such people then feel the need to make others small, therefore indicates rather high insecurity or a veritable profile neurosis .

The strong self-confidence is often just a facade. Behind it usually hides a still immature and unstable character . Because these people are unaware of themselves , doubt their strengths and talents, or have an unfulfilled desire for affirmation and admiration, they force applause and recognition by putting themselves on the pedestal. Motto: Look, I'm better than you - now admire me for it!

One could also say, self-image and foreign image gape with these people far apart. Behind them is often the compulsive fear of being under-rated, not getting the attention and recognition you deserve.

Arrogance arrogance profile neurosis bourgeois cartoon
The pursuit of others' attention can also be demonstrated by the fact that those concerned must always emphasize what they have done or already achieved ( my car, my house, my boat, ... ).

Here, however, pure despair usually reveals itself : the craving for validity ultimately remains unsatisfied. The arrogant may feel in the short term superior - but he also feels that this is not a real admiration, but at most a self-constructed triumph. Artificial ascent through humiliation.

And people will not be more sympathetic. A downward spiral arises: The dose must be constantly increased to satisfy. At the same time, the person experiences more and more rejection. Or realizes that he or she is not as special as he is supposed to be and not really capable of really big things. This way, self-image and external image are permanently removed from each other.

3 clues that you become arrogant
3 clues that you become arrogantIf you're wondering how you affect others or whether you're arrogant, there are three strong signs that you're at least on the way to being considered arrogant and patronizing by others:

About hearing
They are not listening properly anymore. Other opinions ignore or iron you and insist on your point of view. And of course, only your point of view is the only correct one.

overlook
That you are wrong, you exclude as well as the possibility of making mistakes. In fact, you do not gain more respect with this flawless attitude - you lose it.

Overfly
With people below your level, you do not give up anymore. You simply do not have the time. The desire anyway. That ability and knowledge commit as well as prosperity - the idea does not even come to you.

Is arrogance associated with power?
No question, power favors arrogance. After all, it's a kind of affirmation that you've made it to something. But there is no causality : power does not automatically make you presumptuous.

However, certain leadership positions reinforce an already existing personality trait. In the beginning, it is certainly not wrong for executives to act with the necessary self-assurance and to manage projects without hesitation. In contrast to people with excessive need for harmony , this can even appeal to employees and other supervisors. But only until self-assurance becomes arrogance.

Managers are often under great pressure and reproaches . To avoid being too close to them, they often benefit from a thick coat and a pronounced self-esteem . If necessary, but only just an attached, constructed. People who exaggerate their characteristics are in danger of losing their arrogance and arrogance.

But it is also true that power corrupts . Those who feel powerful, like to take more liberties - simply because he or she can. Or rather: Believes you can afford it.

So many career achievements can reinforce the sense of superiority over others. And those who feel superior often show less empathy and empathy . This is meanwhile indicated by numerous studies.

A simple equation seems to apply: the more arrogance, the greater the emotional distance . Not infrequently, this culminates in noticeable wickedness, bossing and the desire to torture others. But that is no longer arrogance, but wickedness.

One of the most famous proofs of this thesis is the so-called Stanford Prison experiment ...


The Stanford Prison Experiment
The Stanford Prison ExperimentThis experiment was conducted in 1971 by American social psychologist Philip Zimbardo. Out of 70 students, he selected 24 that he thought were the most average and randomly assigned them to guards and prisoners .

The prisoners had to wait in jail cells in the basement of the institute, which had previously been specially equipped with bars, while the guards were to do their work. However, the guards did not manage well with their newly gained power .

Within a few days, the formerly average students turned into true sadists and tortured the prisoners. This turned out to be such that the experiment, originally scheduled for 14 days, had to be stopped after six days. Some of the prisoners included extreme signs of mental stress and first signs of developing depression .

Am I presumptuous? That depends also on the opposite
Not every person is overbearing, whom others attribute to this attribute. Many extraordinary and highly talented people are regularly spurned as arrogant just because they are beyond mediocrity.

As the saying goes: cynical looks like arrogance only from below .

Self-confidence , self-love and mental strength are not bad, on the contrary: they are a key to success.

And not always behind an arrogant appearance calculation and calculation. Some only have a knowledge advantage or genius, but he expresses it in the worst possible way and thus offends his colleagues.

In addition, especially people with low self-esteem tend to dismiss a certain behavior as presumptuous. Conversely, employees with likewise pronounced self-confidence perceive a sovereign person as merely assertive - there is no talk of arrogance.

Psychologists therefore distinguish between the authentic and therefore positive manifestations of self-awareness on the one hand, and the negative and presumptuous ones on the other. Thus, an essential feature of arrogance is the lack of self-reflection . This leads to a distorted perception of reality.

How do I deal with arrogant colleagues?
With all understanding of the causes and triggers for arrogance - annoying is of course still, when you share the occupation or the office with such a person. So the question arises, how you should deal with arrogant colleagues (or bosses). In fact, there are a few options ...

Accept it.
Overbearing people are characterized not least by advice res judicata . An open conversation is rarely possible with them. It would also be a waste of your life to convince them that you are quite ordinary. Make it clear that the arrogant posturing has nothing to do with your person. The guy opposite can not help but needs it to make himself feel better. Sometimes you have to treat yourself.

Do not contradict.
How does someone react to suggestions for improvement that is firmly convinced that they are doing the best work in the world? Exactly, not exactly pleased or even open. Contradiction can save you from these people. In the best case, you can not do anything with it; in the worst case, you can conjure up a conflict . Clever acts, who makes his own (better) idea look as if it is the result of the intellectual superiority of the other: "Your great idea brings me just now that we also ..."

Stay factual.
If it does not work out and you really want to say (or criticize) something, then do not get involved in long discussions. An overbearing person will only listen to you conditionally anyway. Please do not make any reproaches, but formulate during the conversation so-called first-person messages - garnished with understanding and a dash of praise. Use the feedback rules calmly .

Dodge.
If everything does not help, avoid the colleague. As a rule, such people sooner or later stumble over their own bad habits. Meanwhile, they prove greatness and sovereignty . Always defend arrogance with kindness, avoid heavy attacks and take the wind out of the sails of the guy. Remember: often behind his behavior is just insecurity and a puny personality.

Do a book.
Of course you do not have to put up with everything. If arrogance becomes unbearable, you should accurately document insults, condescension, and false accusations . If it comes later to an open confrontation, you have evidence in hand.

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